Social Media & Me

My relationship with social media may be one of the most hypocritical things about me. I can wax poetic about how harmful it is to one's mental health, how it is so easy to slip into an anxious self-consciousness or an insincere superficiality; but minutes later I can be found scrolling mindlessly through Facebook or, God forbid, the Instagram "Explore" tab.

My friend set up my Instagram account in my senior year of high school. I didn't get a Facebook until the summer before my freshman year of college. I rarely use Snapchat and can't remember holding a streak that lasted longer than six days. You could say that entering the world of social media sounded just as daunting to me as being social in the real world, perhaps even more so. As soon as you post something online, that post is beyond your control. It is now in the hands of hundreds, maybe even thousands of people on their phones, or on the screen on their laptops and computers. When you share an opinion or a picture with someone in person, you have the privilege of seeing their immediate, most authentic reaction. But no matter what, you will never be able to know every single follower's thoughts on what you post on social media. It's strange; you put great thought and consideration into what you write, what picture you choose, what filter you use, but when it's up on the net the best course of action is to suddenly adapt a disinterest or aloofness. Thinking about it too much, checking likes, views, comments, etc. can only worsen the spiral and create more self-consciousness.

There is also a certain diligence required on the other end: the content you go out of your way to look at. All of us on social media have encountered or maybe even follow accounts that aren't necessarily a favor to mental health. I've already mentioned the Instagram "Explore" tab, but I don't think I can stress enough how careful one should be when using it--take it from someone who's given it up for Lent for the past two years. It's because as I would look at accounts of ridiculously toned girls sponsoring smorgasbords of junk food, or seeing others in their beautiful clothes driving expensive cars or attending music festivals, I was starting to dislike who and where I was right now. I wanted to be them, not me. I'd like to think I've been able to come out of that poisonous mentality a bit, but as long as I have a phone or computer, the temptation will always be there. As fun as it can be to fall down the hole of never-ending aesthetically pleasing pictures and videos, it should never challenge or negate your self-worth.

Before I emerge from the deep end of these ramblings, I'd like to touch upon the wonderful world of Pinterest. I. love. Pinterest. Pretty much anything you can imagine is presented to you in the most visually pleasing way; it's like Instagram, but with less pressure to "post." But that also means you are entirely responsible for what you make of your experience with it. Pinterest is just what it sounds like: you "pin" things in which you are interested (Is that really what it stands for? Well, for the purposes of this post, it is). The limitless results and further suggestions can help you construct the lifestyle you want--but all online. The clothes, the houses, even the "boards" themselves are intangible. There was a point when I was even letting Pinterest, the wholesome place for brides-to-be and avid crafters, dictate how I viewed myself. Everything I was pinning were things I wanted, but knew deep down I would never be able to have.

Ooookay. Now onto the positive stuff.

With all THAT being said, there are some aspects of social media I truly value. I love being able to see what my friends are up to, especially now that I am an ocean away from most of them. I love getting regular updates from my extended family and seeing their milestones, whether it's graduations, babies, or upcoming weddings. I can get in touch with loved ones who live all the way in the Philippines, and see the great things happening for some of my old friends from as far back as elementary school. And honestly, sometimes it gives me the news before the actual news outlets. ((Also, special shoutout to Tasty videos and the like, which have inspired me to make many a delicious meal...when I finally have my own kitchen again.)) The beauty of social media is the "social" part; being able to keep in touch with who you want, when you want.

I'm by no means an expert on handling social media (clearly), but I thought it might be helpful to share the positive measures I've been taking. Whenever I post on Instagram or Facebook, the first question I always ask myself is, Is this something I want to share with my friends and family? Not necessarily to gauge whether it's "appropriate" or not, but to determine whether this photo, article, video, etc. I'm about to share truly makes me happy--and if I want to share that happiness with the people I care about. And as for the infamous "Explore" tab: unless you have a religious practice that enables you to sacrifice an unneeded indulgence for 40 days, my best advice would be moderation. I only look at it when I take study breaks, but even then it can be hard to stick to a reasonable amount of time on the page. Really, if you have to, set a timer. Seriously.

As for Pinterest, I will still go in and save things I find to be desirable or inspiring. But I've also learned to use it to help me determine what I can have, not what I want to have. From my "Clothes" board, for instance, I've realized there are phases when there's always one thing I am repeatedly pinning; and that may be the one thing I should be investing for at the moment (so if anyone knows where to find some nice wrap dresses, let me know). In my "Food" board I've started pinning less images or recipes of flashy junk food (looking at you, freakshakes) and more pins of healthier, easy-to-make, but still delightful-looking meals.

Now, none of these are guaranteed to entirely change one's social media habits for the better. In fact, there's a good chance that at least one of the above methods will fail for me, and I'll have to figure out a new way to remain conscious of my interactions with social media. But it's a start.

This post may be more on the serious side than any of the others, but it's only because it's a topic that should be taken very seriously. And ironically, I am relaying this to all of you on a blog that will go up on the Internet. I guess I can only hope that I will be getting the response I would like...unless you leave me a nice little comment. Or Facebook message me. Or reach me by Instagram. Heck, send me a Snapchat. I'll probably open it a couple days after you send it.